Dancing Monkeys and Free Snowcones

When helping experts market their practices, we don't expect them to know everything about marketing and especially marketing with a website; that's why we're here and what we do.  However....

We have a folder called the "Expert Witness Marketing Hall of Shame" for situations we just never anticipated encountering with experts, things we never thought we would have to explain.  Now, while every particle of my being would love to show you some of these websites, I can't bring myself to do it.  But I will share some of the top nominees for the "Hall of Shame."  Take these as a caution of what not to do, or a validation that your website isn't so bad after all.

The dancing monkeys.  Seriously.  On the home page, dancing over and through the text are dancing monkeys. Let's ignore the animation challenges and skip to the courtroom.  If by some chance an attorney actually retained the services of this expert, can you you imagine the fun opposing counsel would have with this on the stand?

This next one is just inexcusable.  On the CV posted on his website, in addition to the expert's own birthdate AND social security number, were the birthdates of the his children!  How do you begin to explain why this is wrong on so many levels?

And what I currently consider the leading contender has to be the free snowcones.  If you call for a free! consultation, you will also receive a coupon for a free! snowcone at the local fair.  I.kid.you.not.